27 November 2010

Attitude of Gratitude

Recently I've been in a funk...I don't even know when or how it started. I just haven't felt like myself at all, and I've had a lot of discouraging and self doubting thoughts running through my mind. I felt like I was always being compared to someone, or that others were always judging me. . . It's the absolute worst feeling EVER! My self esteem has been hanging by a thread lately, and I was honestly beginning to believe all those negative thoughts. I discredited myself for everything I did and I started to feel worthless. I felt like worth meant that I needed to travel to the moon, or discover the cure for cancer, or do something profound and amazing.... you get the idea.

Well, this past week at church, the lesson in Relief Society was on a talk given by Elder Marvin J. Ashton called "There are many gifts". I highly recommend reading it, even if you aren't in a funk like me. It's awesome and so worth it. I guarantee you will feel a greater self worth after reading it.

This is one of my favorite paragraphs from the whole talk:

"One of the great tragedies of life, it seems to me, is when a person classifies himself as someone who has no talents or gifts. When, in disgust or discouragement, we allow ourselves to reach depressive levels of despair because of our demeaning self-appraisal, it is a sad day for us and a sad day in the eyes of God. For us to conclude that we have no gifts when we judge ourselves by stature, intelligence, grade-point average, wealth, power, position, or external appearance is not only unfair but unreasonable."

I love how he perfectly states exactly what I was feeling. That it is a tragedy when we think and feel those gloomy thoughts. And also, that it upsets God when you or I degrade ourselves. It really put things into perspective for me. Through recognizing that we are blessed with gifts and talents that are individual, it helped me to feel my own individual worth. I'm realizing that I don't have to become the President in order to feel valuable and worthwhile. Worth does not come from money, or awards, or long legs, or brown eyes, it comes from God and his "God-given gifts", and the effort we put into those gifts. If you think about it, some of the greatest talents are the ones we can't see! :)

So this Thanksgiving season, I'm grateful that Heavenly Father knows me, and that He knew I needed a boost. I love how through an unexpected way, He was able to help me and answer my prayers. And even though my doubts and insecurities aren't completely gone, I know that there is a way to get past them and live happily, and that's what I plan to do! So on that note, here's to having an attitude of gratitude! :)


Camisetta said...

Tor I love little moments like this! Thanks for your post - and if you ever need any sort of encouragement, you just look me up! Cuz if there is one testimony that will never be shaken it's that God loves all his children and knows them and has plans for them!

Marissa And Jesse said...

Tori, I love ya! and miss you! We need to get together and do something! I am glad you are feeling better..It seems to me that everytime I get like that-all depressed and hard on myself-I am humbled my a sweet message like that! Thanks for sharing! :)

Reba said...
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Reba said...

Tori my friend our days of stake girls camp I keep oh so close to my heart thanks to you. YOU are AMAZING and I so love you! Please don't ever forget that.

Kate said...

Tori, how did you know I too needed this boost?? Thank you for passing on what you heard. I think you are amazing just because you're you. Love you so much and miss you more! What ward are you going to now?